* As the world exchanges love notes, whispers endearments, and sets to wooing, we dispatch our top romance correspondent, below, to Thailand. We apologize in advance.

No Romance, We Promise

A love-sick gal certainly wouldn't want to kiss one of Wat Lak Roy's frogs in the hope that it would turn out to be a prince…

International Living Postcards--your daily escape

Valentine's Day, 2007
Wat Lak Roy, Thailand

Frogs ripping apart a woman's back. A giant crab whose pincers are cutting a man in half. Pigs with crossbows taking aim at passing humans. Toothy dogs biting into one unfortunate's manhood. Without a doubt, Wat Lak Roi is the stuff of nightmares…and the weirdest Buddhist temple I've ever encountered.

Around 30 miles from the city of Nakhon Ratchasima in Thailand's north-eastern Isaan province, Wat Lak Roy is essentially a giant sculpture park representing heaven and hell--and it contains a lot more hell than heaven. The sins for which humans may get banished to a world of unending torment are manifold…and you may wonder if the monks who dreamt up this horror were partaking of strange substances. It could easily have been designed by Hieronymus Bosch.

Images of sex and death (usually related) are everywhere you look…and some are extremely graphic. While you might not think this a suitable place for kids, Thais have a different outlook on life: groups of school kids are here in their hundreds. Many sculptures are animated--putting a 5 baht (15 cents) coin in a slot results in the screams and moans of the damned. The kids love it.

Inscriptions are entirely in Thai, so without a guide you can only guess what sins are represented. The drinkers getting prodded by pitchfork-wielding devils is pretty easy to figure, but most sculptures are completely baffling. Is the woman being torn apart by frogs a warning to stick to a completely vegetarian diet? Maybe, as frog and toad stews are a staple food in rural Isaan.

It costs nothing to visit the park. When you leave, you pass a wat (temple) where orange-robed monks will give you a blessing and a small amulet. Although no donations are asked for, I gave them 50 baht ($1.50). If it prevents me from being tormented by nightmares tonight, it'll be a small price to pay. Plus, I'm sure I've probably committed sins that even these monks can't imagine…

Steenie Harvey
Romance Correspondent, International Living

[Don't miss out. Get your free IL Postcards subscription today.]